Existential Psychology Weblog by Louis Hoffman

Reflections from China: Rethinking Education

One of the presentations I was looking forward to most during my time in China was a "dialogue session" with Xuefu Wang on Nietzsche and the important Chinese scholar, LuXun. I was presenting on Nietzsche and Xuefu on LuXun. The presentation was well attended and went very well. However, one question asked during the dialogue session particularly stands out to me. A high school student from China who attended the Existential Conference stated that in high school she had been exposed to some Nietzsche quotes by her teacher to help inspire students in their education. Her question was how high school students in the United States respond to Nietzsche. In my answer, I stated that I wish high school students in the United States knew who Nietzsche was! 

I am deeply worried about many of the trends in education today in the United States from high school to college to graduate education. Although acknowledging my bias as this is my profession, I strongly believe that education is one of the most critical aspects of the future of the United States. And I believe we are failing. Education is taken much more seriously in many other countries around the world. Our standards and ways of measuring success in education are quickly deteriorating. At its best, education in the United States focuses on learning content and measures attaining knowledge as success. However, content without the ability to think about it is useless, meaningless, and potentially dangerous. Yet, this seems to be our best. We have completely lost sight, it seems, of teaching individuals how to think. I know this is an overgenralization as there are some exceptions to this; however, it seems they are fewer and fewer. 

The greatest minds in the intellectual history of the United States, such as Albert Einstein and William James, understood this problem well. They knew the limits of science, which too often focuses on the accumulation of facts, and recognized the importance of creativity and intuition in furthering science, theory, and scholarship. But today we see the arts cut from education. Fewer teachers, it seems, know how to teach critical thinking. Students often seem to think that critical thinking is just being critical. 

One of the takeaway lessons for me from the First International Conference on Existential Psychology was that we in the United States have much that we can learn about education from the international community. As many of us from the United States were, I was so taken by these young students attending the conference. Not only did they choose to attend a high level intellectual conference, but they participated with great questions and contributions. Their excitement for learning and passion for the topic was quite inspiring. 

Opening Address at the First International Conference on Existential Psychology

First, allow me to acknowledge some people and organizations that made this conference possible. Xiaozhaung University, and particularly Dr. Tao, graciously provided the facilitates for the conference and many hours of organization, as well as financial support. The China Institute of Clinical Psychology provided organizational and financial support for the conference. The Zhi Mian Institute also provided financial and organizational support over the 2-years of planning for this conference.

Reflecting back, the seeds of this conference may have begun in the words uttered in a hotel lobby about two years ago: “maybe we aren’t thinking big enough.” Mark and I were sitting in a hotel lobby, energized by the reception existential psychology was receiving on the first of our journeys across China. Soon, Xuefu joined us in the planning and the energy quickly began to build. Two years later, here we are. And this is amazing! We have most of the top existential psychology scholars in the world with us here today, in Nanjing, China.

The title “existential psychology” may have emerged in the West, but it does not belong to the West. In the West, the first use of the word “existential” was applied to a particular group of ideas well after the death of Soren Kierkegaard, who is commonly identified as the originator of existential thought. In much the same way, existentialism has had a presence in Eastern thought well before the label ever came here.

And this was our purpose from day 1, to bring Western existential thought into dialogue with Eastern existential thought. The dialogues are about encounter, mutual exchange, and mutual learning. This is now my third trip to China focused on existential psychology. We have also hosted Mark, Xuefu, Charolette, and JiaJia in Colorado as they have brought indigenous Chinese existential ideas to the United States. Although there is much commonality in Eastern and Western approaches to existential psychology, there are also challenges and the need for cultural adaptation and critique. This, too, has been central in our intentions and what we have engaged in over the past three years. What we embark on today is a continuance of this process with an invitation for all of you to be participants as we learn, create, and grow together. From this encounter, I am certain we will grow individually and collectively, and that we will push existential psychology to grow along with us.

Today, I am proud to be here beginning this awe-filled journey with so many friends. I am joined by students who have lived the Nietzsche lines that “a student repays his [or her] teacher poorly if remaining nothing but a pupil.” You more than students; you have undertaken this journey with me and you are my friends, my colleagues, and my teachers. I am honored, this trip, to be joined by many colleagues from the United States who are the foremost leaders in existential psychology as well as individuals who embody the existential spirit and are among the top psychology scholars in the United States. I am proud to be joined by many leading scholars from the East who I have been privileged to get to know and others who I hope to begin getting to know over the next three days. You have humbly taught me much. Last, it is one of the great honors of my life to be standing here with my two good friends, Mark Yang and Xuefu Wang, who have worked tirelessly promoting and developing existential psychology in China. Mark, having studied and contributed to existential psychology in the United States and China, symbolizes this east-west dialogue. Xuefu is a true scholar of Chinese culture and existential psychology. Indeed, I believe Xuefu is rightly identified as the leading scholar of indigenous Chinese existential psychology. We are all part of this very prestigious group that is making history in existential psychology. Now let us join together to begin the journey. 

Zhi Mian: Facing Life as It Is

Several years ago Xuefu Wang started the Zhi Mian Institute in Nanjing, China to provide therapy services and training. Zhi Mian essentially means "face to face" or "facing life as it is." The Zhi Mian Institute has enjoyed great success over time. I am not sure a clinic bearing a name with such a meaning would have the same success here in the United States. Maybe I am wrong, hopefully.

In my limited experiences in China, there seems to be great openness to existential ideas -- both in being open to existential psychology and in the sense of just generally being open to existential issues. Maybe this is because, as we often heard on our trips, the people of China has suffered greatly. In the United States, we often have the luxury of escaping the existential issues that people in other countries have to confront on a regular basis. But sometimes I wonder if such protection, such little suffering, is such a good thing. After all, a little suffering can be quite a blessing at times and we often need suffering to learn some of the most important lessons of life.

But let me take a minutes to diverge and talk about how few in the West seem to face existentialism as it is. But let me note, I am not promoting the idea that there should just be one approach to existentialism, but rather that I am concerned about some of the distortions I see how how existentialism is understood as represented in some unbalanced and uninformed perspectives.

Many seem to think of existentialism as referring to this rugged individualism in which one's responsibility is only to oneself. This defies the existential reality of relationship and our relational nature. It seems to me that many of these individuals are really trying to escape responsibility to others and escape the pains of relationship and commitment.

Others want to make the focus just on responsibility and choice. They emphasize our ability to change our life situation. However, they too often deny what Rollo May referred to as destiny. Destiny, in this sense, refers in large part to the limits on our freedom. This viewpoint is much easier to maintain when one has access to certain privileges. This is not so easy for the underprivileged and those who have many limits on their freedom. This can easily turn into blaming people for life situations they cannot control, a lack of empathy for the difficulty of  many life choices, and a lack of understanding of the contextual forces. This often also serves to devalue suffering -- the suffering person is seen as suffering because of their poor choices and the implicit is to "get over it."

Yet, there is an opposite misunderstanding of existentialism and the human condition. If you do a search for "existentialism" in many popular forums, especially those geared toward the youth, existentialism seems to be associated with idealizing suffering and the concept of meaningless. Existentialists are seen as people drawn toward depression and who seeking suffering. But seeing the possibilities in suffering and not pathologizing suffering is not the same as immersing oneself in suffering for the sake of suffering.

I don't think these three misunderstandings of existentialism really "face life as it is." Choice and freedom, furthermore, is limited when we do not honestly face life and the human condition. It is just as dangerous to deny our limits as it is to deny our freedom. It is just as dangerous to avoid suffering and life's dark realities as it is to over-identify with these. It is just as dangerous to deny our relational nature as it is to become lost in community or conformity.If life is suffering, life is also beautiful. Maybe the only unqualified thing we can really say about the human condition from an existential perspectives is that it is paradoxical.

Xuefu is an individual that I have come to greatly admire for his knowledge and wisdom as well as his character and integrity. He hopes that "Zhi Mian" becomes a phrase that is recognized in the English language. This post, in part, is doing my part in promoting that, but I wonder if people in the United States are really willing to face life as it is. As I spend more time abroad and with people from other cultures, it seems to me that we in the United States engage in a great deal of distortion -- in defense mechanisms of sort. Our priviledge allows us to do this. But I worry that the longer we hide behind comfort and the delusions of superiority that the more this sets us up for difficult times ahead. I think that our unwillingness to face life as it is conencts to the failures of our education system, our lack of valuing of mental health, and our blind servitude to money. We can't seem to see beyond ourselves. Zhi Mian is not just a personal imperitive, but a collective or cultural one. We ought not deny life as it is on any level.

Freedom and Responsibility Singapore Style: Paradoxical Lessons

Singapore is an amazing country. It very packed into a little space, yet rarely feels cramped or crowded. It relies on high rises and a concrete jungle to create space for living and business, yet it is remarkably green and tropical. It is one of the most technologically advanced countries in the world, yet one of the most environmentally friendly. It is amazingly multicultural with people from both the East and West, yet remarkably devoid of many racial tensions. It is also remarkably religiously diverse, yet few tensions over religious diversity.

It seems there is much the rest of the world could learn from Singapore. Still, it is not a utopia. The way they have accomplished this includes taking away some of the precious freedoms we love in the United States. There are strict quotas for where people live. There is greater regulation over many behaviors, including it being illegal to chew gum or eat/drink in some public places. There are challenges and limits to the ability to speak out against the government and it does not seem the elections are really free. Yet, there seems to be very little discontent, little poverty, and few drug problems.

I'm sure most who read this will not agree with what I say in the next couple of paragraphs. Many may be angered and accuse me of being unAmerican. Some may want to encourage me to move to Singapore. But I hope people can understand where I am coming from. I like democracy and greatly treasure being a US citizen, but part of the reason I treasure this is because I am allowed to be critical of it and I am allowed to play with ideas that many would consider "unAmerican."

I do not think we have arrived at the perfect form of government. Democracy, for all its wonders, is not perfect. This is extraordinarily evident with many of the problems we face today in America. It is important to remember that many of the founders considered American democracy to be an experiment. They did not think that we had arrived, or discovered any perfect form of government. They knew we had much to learn and would make many mistakes along the way. Many areas that are very important for the future of the United States and the world are areas where we are failing. In many of these very places Singapore is excelling. In addition to the many other areas already mentioned, Singapore is much better than America at providing health care to those who need it and values education on a national level much better than we do in the US.

So what can we learn from this, especially from an existential perspective? Even politically, freedom and responsibility are always connected. Freedom is also connected to risk. Greater freedom means greater risk. In the US we've been arguing and debating this greatly since 9/11, but often missing the existential level of the question. Instead, the debate has been placed on the realm of ideals. When talking about ideals, freedom will almost always win over risk. But this is not reality. Post 9/11 we've taken away a great many freedoms in the name of protecting freedom. Interestingly enough, it is the people who have taken away the freedom that most often engage in the rhetorical speeches about freedom while accusing their opponents of being haters of freedom. Paradox.

On the trip, my colleague Jim Ungvarsky, presented on self deception. In this presentation he used a quote that basically stated if you say something often enough you will come to believe it. Maybe we have done this in America. Maybe we have said that "America is the greatest country in the world" enough to not just believe this, but also to believe it so blindly that we are unable to see the value in alternative perspectives; that we are unable to learn from the successes of countries such as Singapore. When we say, "America is the greatest country in the world," I think we need to ask, "By who's standards?"

I value my freedoms and the freedom of speech in particular is very important to me. But I can also see the value in the form of government that exists in Singapore. I don't think I would function well as a Singapore citizen as I would get myself into too much trouble speaking my mind. I can visit here and "be good," but I don't think I could live this way. But yet I can honor those that see this as a pretty good life. And I think by many standards, Singapore could be in the running for "the greatest country in the world." It is done what few, if any, countries have been able to do on many social and environment issues.

Some may be muttering under their breath now, "Love it or leave it" -- an American phrase that couldn't be more in contradiction to the values on which America is based. But let us not forget, America has its coersion, too. I know many colleagues and friends who have had bad experiences from being accused of being "unAmerican" for exercising their very American right of free speech. Our coersion is not the same as Singapore, but instead is a different form of social coersion. When people do not agree with the dominant view of American culture, they are ostrecized, made uncomfortable in their jobs, given diagnoses or other derogatory labels, or maybe event removed from their jobs or social circles. As Chomsky once said, "Rhetoric to a democracy is what the military is to a dictatorship." In addition to rhetoric, I think we could also add social pressure. Yet, we, in America, are critical of the focus on social harmony and not allowing for disagreement that is prevalent in different ways in China and Singapore.

I think my biggest criticism of the US is that we are blinded to the paradoxes that we live with on a daily basis. We are great, but not so great. We do many things well, but we have much to learn from countries very different from us like China and Singapore. In China, many scholars and social researchers have pointed out that they have done more to alleviate poverty and improve the standard of living for more people in a short period of time than any country in history. This has been accomplished during a period of great social change, which you would think would be a challenge to such social progress. China, too, is not perfect, but no country is, not even the US. And China is doing some amazing things in areas we have failed.

The more I spend time in various places around the world, and expose my worldview to many different perspectives, the more I can see value in the many different perspectives and governmental experiments in existence around the world. If we could lay aside the adolescent talk about "who is the greatest," maybe we could learn from each other. Maybe we could have greater respect for our differences. I am not advocating that we ignore the atrocities occuring in places like the Sudan, but I am saying that we should be looking more to what others are doing right and trying to learn from them. We also need to be more honest about the decisions we are making.

Freedom comes with risk, and freedom comes with responsibility. To ask for anything else is to deny basic existential realities -- politically and personally. I have long advocated that Americans too often naively seek after freedom with out responsbility, but they also often seek freedom without risk. There is no such thing. Americans like to claim to live in the greatest country in the world -- again, there is no such thing in my mind. American may be great, but it also may be that the most threatening challenge to our greatness is our insistance of being the greatest. Once again, paradox.

Existential Conversations in a German Restaurant in China

Three days in Nanjing, 18-hours of lectures, many more hours of conversation. I am exhausted, but more than that I feel very full. Each leg of the trip has had very different rewards. In Nanjing, the depth of the conversations and the relationships which were built were incredibly rewards. We had very good turn out at the lectures -- over 120 people and this group was very engaged. Yet, the group size limited our ability to engage in much dialogue, though. But each meal we were able to select a group of people for deeper conversations.

Sunday night was the most rewarding of the dinner conversations. Two authors who contributed to Existential Psychology East-West and an individual who did is dissertation on Kirk Schneider joined us. We discussed some of the most pressing issues for applying existential psychology in an East-West context, two of which I'd like to share about some.

First, we discussed the application of existential psychology with literature. Existential psychology and philosophy has always been deeply interested in and engaged with the arts. Many of the existentialists as made contributions to the arts -- Sartre, Nietzsche, and Yalom all wrote novels; May contributed paintings and drawings, and others such as Tom Greening and David Elkins are poets. Many, particularly May and Mendelowitz have used literature as an essential medium for talking about existential ideas. Applying this in an East-West context, however, really gets exciting. This theme came up several times as a number of literature people were at the conference. Dr. Wang, who joined us for dinner, talked about her interest in the literature that emerged from times of war or other cultural despair; times when many of the great existential contributions to literature emerge.

Next, we discussed the idea of genuineness and how could genuineness be applied in a culture such as China, where emotional expression and personal disclosure are discouraged and hierarchy is always considered in relationships. Genuineness and authenticity always have limitations and challenges. We are human and not perfect, therefore we are never able to attain personal genuineness. But we also discussed genuineness in the context of paradox. There are many ways to be genuine, and sometimes one may be able to be geneuine when conforming to cultural norms. We discussed ways to genuine in Chinese culture, and ways genuineness may call one to stand out from the culture.

It seems to me that these topics are somehow connected. During the lectures, I spoke much of relationships. There seemed to be a longing in response, a desire for deeper relationships. Similarly, although the theme of the discouragement of emotions was common, there was much emotion that was felt. On Saturday night, Xuefu took us to the Chinese opera. Although I was disappointed that I could not take it in as much as I would like because of exhaustion, it was still an amazing experience. But what I really enjoyed was hearing Xuefu talk about the subtle expression of emotion throughout the opera. It seems to me that emotion is very prevalent in Chinese culture, but most often expressed subtly and through the arts. There is not a devoid of emotion, it is just channeled and expressed in very different ways. But emotion will find its expression; it must.

Its hard to get at the richness of such conversations. At the end of the night, although leaving for a massage that I was much looking forward to, I was saddened. I didn't want the engagement and the conversation to end. These conversations are deeply meaningful to me. And they seem to me to take on the existential psychology spirit; its all about the relationship. Tonight we will leave Nanjing for Shanghai, once again saying goodbye to many new friends and looking forward already to next year's return.

Day 5 & 6 - On Being Connoisseurs of Suffering

On day 5 we left Hong Kong for Chengdu in the Sichuan providence of China, where the earthquake occurred last May. Although we were not anywhere near the disaster sites, we did spend time with the volunteers and counselors who had been working with the victims. As of now, they let few, if any, foreigners near the sites because too many Westerners, especially missionaries, have taken advantage of the victims. The first day, we listened to the stories of the relief workers who presented to us. It is hard to speak of this. There were painful stories of suffering, as well as beautiful stories of healing.

The second day I was scheduled to present on existential perspectives on trauma and suffering. For the first time in a long time I felt nervous about a presentation; I felt inadequate. These people have been doing the hard work of compassion, they have been living the trauma counseling. I should be learning from them, not vice versa. But as I began presenting, I quickly was reminded that the best learning is always mutual and we could learn together.

I am a big fan of dialogue and collaboration. I belief that when dialogue is entered with the right mindset, good things generally happen. On Day 6 this is what I was able to observe emerge from the initial stimulus I presented. As I spoke about suffering from an existential perspective, the counselors and volunteers started to join the conversation. There were many volunteers who initially came to work with the disaster victims. These, volunteers, were the few that were still going on a weekly basis to work with the victims 10-months later. They felt drawn to the suffering they saw. And they felt weary of the many teachers who came to tell them what to do. Teachers, like me, who had not been doing the work at these disaster sites.

I spoke to how counselors who work with trauma often are questioned about why they would want to keep doing what they are doing. Often people seem to think something must be wrong with them to continually seek out the trauma. I spoke of many trauma therapsits questioning themselves if something was wrong with them that they persisted in this work. These themes connected, and as they did something amazing happened. We started building a collective metaphor; a metaphor of being connoisseurs of suffering.

Some may think this sounds masochistic, of maybe even sadistic, but they miss the point. There is a beauty that often emerges from trauma and suffering; a deeply meaningful beauty. The beauty is not that the suffering occurs, but the what emerges from the suffering. The healing, the coming together, the deep relational connections -- these are all very powerful. These are the allure of suffering. But, still, there's more to it. An important distinction must be made being suffering well and just suffering. Those who suffer well are able to create meaning and relationship in the midst of those suffering. When this does not occur, they just suffer. Connoissures of suffering understand this distinction and seek to help individuals suffer well.

The beauty of this metaphor is that it was created through many voices. The idea was introduced, with different language, by one of the disaster counselors. Others soon joined and refined the metaphor, the disaster workers as well as myself and some of the students who came with me. As this occurred, the energy in the room changed. People seemed to begin to have some excitement, these same individuals who before showed a mix of exhaustion and interest a few minutes before.

This is the good stuff. This is is what training, and what therapy, is all about. This metaphor did not take any suffering away. As one of the cleints who was discussed said, nothing can take the pain away. And we should not try. The pain and the suffering is the client's and we have no right to take it away; this is the client's choice. But we brought meaning to the suffering and, as Mark Yang said in quoting Frankl, suffering ceases to be suffering when we have been able to find meaning in the suffering.

This was a beautiful and a healing exchange, one of which I am deeply thankful for being a part of. Its a lesson that could only be taught collectively. I am thankful that I was able to be a participant/student in the process

Day 3: Reflections on Diversity and Relationships

The striking points of today seemed to resonate around the topics of diversity and relationship. The day began with a fascinating discussion over breakfast about social harmony in Chinese culture. Social harmony in its essence is a very positive value, which values relationships. However, this can also become something that is experienced as a lot of pressure. This is not so different from individualism, which, too, can have its positives and negatives.

Instead of speaking about social harmony, though, I wanted to focus on the idea of diversity. When we were leaving, Jim Ungvarsky, my colleague who is along on the trip, and I were discussing the idea of diversity. In some education settings, it is often purported that what is most essential is to be inclusive of a diversity of ideas, even if a greater cultural diversity cannot be obtained. It is thought this is an adequate replacement. I have always found this idea somewhat offensive; however, today this stood out even more.

Although I have been exploring this idea of social harmony and how it impacts the experience of individuals in Chinese culture for several months through reading, as we discussed this topic this morning it came alive to me in a different way as applied to some of the cases we discussed during our time here. The idea cannot replace getting to understand the experience, and no diversity of ideas can replace the encounter of someone from a very different culture who experiences the world and their culture so different than your own.

Later in the day we continued in our experintial trainings. In the small group discussions, the depth quickly emerged. The presence experiential training is challenging -- all seemed to agree on this. However, the connection and encounter was more powerful than the challenge. Three times I made comments to "move toward closure" so we could do some discussion of the activity. Each time it was evident that my intrusion was seen as an annoyance and that what they were doing was more important than what I had in mind. Afterwards, the theme of depth was certainly most present in the disucssion. However, there was also strong overtones alluding to how powerful it was to do this activity in a cross-cultural context. A comment was even made that this activity alone made the trip worth it.

The relationships have grown and deepened quickly. Business cards, Emails, and addresses have been exchanged. The excitement is growing. Yes, about existential psychology, but more importantly about the encounters at are emerging through the trainings.

Day 2: Emotions in China & Hong Kong

Day 2, our first full day in Hong Kong, focused largely on experiential work. In the afternoon, we spent 3-hours doing experiential training related to presence and the here-&-now. The evening was spent leading a 2 1/2 hour case conference along with a demonstration and role play. Due to the nature of these trainings I cannot share much in the form of specifics, but I would like to highlight the lessons which emerged.

We began the experiential portion discussing the idea of presence, defined as focusing on the emotional feeling illicited when in the presence of the another person. This is not the idea of "being fully present," but rather referring to a more stable construct of what people typical feel in your presence. I spoke of this in preparation for more experiential training to happen tomorrow. Then I gave the assignment for tomorrow: Interview at least two people about your presence. I've done this regularly in class, but never in a context quite like this before. As I am speaking to this I"m realizing the challenges: I am asking people to journey into very personal and vulnerable territory when I've just met them. What is more, this is a group mixed of students from the University of the Rockies and students from Hong Kong who will be sharing this expereince together. Maybe beginning with presence wasn't so wise. But we were there and we stayed the course.

Part of the challenge and lesson of the presence assignment, I continued, is the learning that comes from learning to ask the question. Most people are drawn to providing a very cognitive answer to these quesitons, often focused on praising and building people up. The art is to learn to ask the question and the engage in the dialogue so that people will provide the emotional answer. This is tough. And I received a response that this may be particularly difficult in Chinese culture, where feedback and emotions are not the norm. Mark, my colleague, responded indicating that maybe China wasn't so different on this issue, may be this is more of a perception or stereotype that has been taken on by the culture. In reality, this is tough anyhere. Studnets who take my classes and are given this assignment can attest to this.

We moved on. Next, each person was asked to bring a symbol with them. We divided into small groups mixed with US and Hong Kong students. The process was to 1) introduce the symbol, providing an objective history of its relation to you, 2) have each person in the group share what the symbol would mean to them if it were their symbol, and 3) the person who brought the symbol giving a more subjective response about the meaning of the symbol to them. The room began to shrink; closeness and trust began to emerge through this process. In retrospect, this should have preceeded the discussion on presence, but maybe it is okay that it didn't. What emerged was an illustration of how presence changes through relationship.

In the end, there was a great deal of emotion which was part of the experiential workshop and the later case discussion. More than that, it was evident that many felt invigorated by this emotion. The existential condition is such that emotion is a universal; we all experience it, even if we do not all open ourselves up to it and even if we do not have the langauge to discuss it. Emotional expression, however, is often influenced greatly by culture.

In our book, Existential Psychology East-West, we made this case. Now, it seems, we are testing it out. In a chapter I wrote, building on the ideas of Rollo May, I made the case that the existential givens -- death, freedom/responsibility, isolation/relationship, meaning, and embodiment/emotions -- were universals. All people face these. However, the response to these is often culturally specific. Furhtermore, what is healthy for the individual may be largely culturally dependent in their response to the givens. Cultures, though, may also do harm if they verge to the extremes in their response to the givens. Our research today seems to support this. Emotions are universal, the need to respond to and engage emotions is also universal. However, each culture finds their own way of dealing with them when they emerged. As I write this tonight I am more convinced than ever of the need to engage our emotions regardless of culture. But I also hold great reverence and strong belief in the contention that there are many forms of emotional expression and what is healthy or healthiest in regards to this is not universal. Universality and particularity as not opposites, they often coincide.

Day 1 in Hong Kong

We arrived in Hong Kong early Sunday morning. A few of us, including myself, slept very well on the plane while others were still in need. The first day I was already schedule to present just 5 hours after arriving in the city. A quick shower and we were off to Hong Kong City College with our host, Mark Yang. It was a small, but very interested crowd. In past years, I've found it has often been hard to get the audience engaged in dialogue in China. They are very attentive, but used to a more hierarchial teaching and presenting style than my own. This time I was pleasantly suprised that the participants were readily willing to exchange from early on. Quickly, the learning became mutual.

Some familiar themes came in the early questions, such as 'How to get clients to engage emotionally when the Chinese culture was one to show little emotion?' This was a question I was excited to hear as I learned much from last years dialogue. It seemed the conversation just continued from last year. My response was that from my view, and the existential perspective, it was the experiencing and ability to share one's emotions that was important, not how it was done. The how is more culturally determined. I also shared a bit of my own history, coming up in a emotionally 'conservative' environment, and then marrying a woman from a very emotionally expressive culture. We've had to make many adjustments and compromises in how we communicate for our marriage to work and cannot make expectations on how the other should communicate about emotions. This seem to fit and the conversation unfolded with the theme continuing in different ways through the rest of the presentation.

After the presentation, we went to watch the Japanese film Departures, a wonderful film filled with existential issues. I will not share more, but just encourage everyone to watch the movie -- its brilliant!

The evening ended with a very traditional Chinese meal and desert. Some people met on previous trips were able join us with some new faces. It was a wondeful meal in the street markets of Hong Kong, where pick out your seafood while it is still alive, followed by a desert at a creamery, where we had warm custard -- a Hong Kong favorite.